Post by aranole on Nov 27, 2005 22:21:57 GMT -5
Sweat drips off his brow. This is hour three. Keith sits in the old sedan watching...waiting. Slowly, a middle-aged man walks out, unlocks a corvette and gets in. Keith starts the car and dims the lights. He follows the corvette to the road. He keeps at least a few yards away, but never loses sight of the corvette. "I'll never lose you", he says to the darkness.
He flashes back to that fateful day. It was 6 years ago. Keith was 12. He and his family were waiting by the fire, drinking hot chocolate. Suddenly the sound of glass shattering filled the air. Father sprang to his feet, grabbed the dagger from under the rocking chair and went to investigate. Thirty minutes later, Mother went to check on him. What seemed like hours later, Keith heard a scream. It was Mother! Keith went to grab the katana. He had learned how to use it only days ago. He ran to the corridor where the scream came from. When he got there, he saw a man in the traditional gi. In his hands was a dagger. His Father's dagger! In the other hand, his Mother's brooch. Suddenly the masked man strikes. The man uses the Qua Trua sword style. Keith knew the style and knew how to defend against it, but the masked man was too fast. Suddenly Keith whips his sword up and connects with his face. It ripped off the mask and left a long scar along his cheek. Keith studies his face. Then without warning, the guy shoves the katana handle into Keith's stomach. Keith was hurt so bad, he blacked out. When he came to, he checked on his parents. They had a light pulse. Keith called the ambulance and when they arrived, Keith searched throughout the house for some clue about why it had happened. It turned out his parents were secret agents and the guy was an assassin for the crime, Lord Kensuca. An hour later, Keith was called to the hospital. His parents had died. Keith vowed to get revenge that night. He left the city to search the country for that man. Never losing resolve, never quitting, going for days without food. He never stops until he gets revenge.
Keith comes out of the flashback just in time. The corvette was starting to turn. Keith glanced at the dashboard clock, 1:09am. He had only four hours to finish this or else he would have to wait three more days or longer. To be sure, Keith checked the copy of the man's date-book. He was correct. The man had a "business meeting". The man pulled into the of the driveway of a humongous mansion. Keith parked the sedan a block away and snuck into the woods next to the mansion. He found the man in the kitchen. Slowly, Keith put the silencer on the gun and took aim. Slowly, his finger slid to the trigger, but just as he was about to fire, a little girl ran up to the man. She got in the line of fire. Not wanting to hurt or kill an innocent, he threw the gun on the ground. He decided that he would have to sneak into the house. Instead of one katana, he brought two. He had decided to let the man die with honor. He waited until all the lights went out. Then climbed down the chimney. Slowly he snuck into the man's bedroom. Keith pulled a picture of his parents out of his pocket. He slapped the picture on the man's chest. Then he jerked awake. "Do you remember them?" Keith asked. "Yes", the man said, "it was my most successful job." Keith threw the second katana into the man's lap. "Let's end this", Keith said dryly. He then dragged the man out into the yard. "Let's finish this", Keith said angrily. Slowly, he drew the katana. The man drew and struck in a flash. This time, Keith was ready. He blocked and blocked. Finally the man was tired. He struck, leaving a thin line of blood across the man's chest. Out of rage, the man swung his sword wildly, missing each time. Keith kicked the man's leg out from under him. The man's head hit with a thud. Keith walked up and arched the blade over his throat. "Do it", the man screamed. Keith raised the blade up and thrust it down with all his strength. The blade just missed the man's head. "Why did you spare me?” the man asked. "I won't become a murderer, but someone else might not be so nice", Keith replied, as he walked away.
i want ur constructive critisism
He flashes back to that fateful day. It was 6 years ago. Keith was 12. He and his family were waiting by the fire, drinking hot chocolate. Suddenly the sound of glass shattering filled the air. Father sprang to his feet, grabbed the dagger from under the rocking chair and went to investigate. Thirty minutes later, Mother went to check on him. What seemed like hours later, Keith heard a scream. It was Mother! Keith went to grab the katana. He had learned how to use it only days ago. He ran to the corridor where the scream came from. When he got there, he saw a man in the traditional gi. In his hands was a dagger. His Father's dagger! In the other hand, his Mother's brooch. Suddenly the masked man strikes. The man uses the Qua Trua sword style. Keith knew the style and knew how to defend against it, but the masked man was too fast. Suddenly Keith whips his sword up and connects with his face. It ripped off the mask and left a long scar along his cheek. Keith studies his face. Then without warning, the guy shoves the katana handle into Keith's stomach. Keith was hurt so bad, he blacked out. When he came to, he checked on his parents. They had a light pulse. Keith called the ambulance and when they arrived, Keith searched throughout the house for some clue about why it had happened. It turned out his parents were secret agents and the guy was an assassin for the crime, Lord Kensuca. An hour later, Keith was called to the hospital. His parents had died. Keith vowed to get revenge that night. He left the city to search the country for that man. Never losing resolve, never quitting, going for days without food. He never stops until he gets revenge.
Keith comes out of the flashback just in time. The corvette was starting to turn. Keith glanced at the dashboard clock, 1:09am. He had only four hours to finish this or else he would have to wait three more days or longer. To be sure, Keith checked the copy of the man's date-book. He was correct. The man had a "business meeting". The man pulled into the of the driveway of a humongous mansion. Keith parked the sedan a block away and snuck into the woods next to the mansion. He found the man in the kitchen. Slowly, Keith put the silencer on the gun and took aim. Slowly, his finger slid to the trigger, but just as he was about to fire, a little girl ran up to the man. She got in the line of fire. Not wanting to hurt or kill an innocent, he threw the gun on the ground. He decided that he would have to sneak into the house. Instead of one katana, he brought two. He had decided to let the man die with honor. He waited until all the lights went out. Then climbed down the chimney. Slowly he snuck into the man's bedroom. Keith pulled a picture of his parents out of his pocket. He slapped the picture on the man's chest. Then he jerked awake. "Do you remember them?" Keith asked. "Yes", the man said, "it was my most successful job." Keith threw the second katana into the man's lap. "Let's end this", Keith said dryly. He then dragged the man out into the yard. "Let's finish this", Keith said angrily. Slowly, he drew the katana. The man drew and struck in a flash. This time, Keith was ready. He blocked and blocked. Finally the man was tired. He struck, leaving a thin line of blood across the man's chest. Out of rage, the man swung his sword wildly, missing each time. Keith kicked the man's leg out from under him. The man's head hit with a thud. Keith walked up and arched the blade over his throat. "Do it", the man screamed. Keith raised the blade up and thrust it down with all his strength. The blade just missed the man's head. "Why did you spare me?” the man asked. "I won't become a murderer, but someone else might not be so nice", Keith replied, as he walked away.
i want ur constructive critisism